Running down the backstreets of Paddington, wearing running shorts and a look of steely determination in case any of the bored housewives from Notting Hill had strayed outside Westbourne Grove and were thinking of running me over in their Range Rovers, I stopped to let a fancy car turn in front of me.
As the car stopped, the passenger in the back seat removed his reading glasses and smiled at me. Being the community-minded individual that I am, I smiled back (hoping that I had now done my bit for David Cameron's Big Society and it would ensure I receive a rebate on my council tax). But no. To my horror, this individual wanted to continue this awkward social encounter and proceeded to wave at me. With my community welfare quota well and truly reached, I smiled back, shrugged my shoulders and gave him a look of 'sorry, would love to stay and chat but I smell' before running off. At this point, I realised the man in the flash car was Sir Stuart Rose.
Now, I'm fairly sure I've never accosted Sir Stuart Rose at a retail gala ball (like other retail magnates who shall remain nameless) and I certainly haven't been named Marks and Spencer customer of the month (everyone knows my heart belongs to Waitrose) so I came to the conclusion that Sir Stuart either mistook me for the woman who just served him tea at the Marks and Spencer board meeting or he has a fetish for steely-eyed, sweaty women with mascara dripping down their face. Either way, it doesn't really matter as it gave me a thought.
A recent study (commissioned by HelloPulse) has proven that most people (well 98.9% of Britons and probably 55% of other nationalities) are too embarrassed or too polite to admit they have no idea who you are, if you greet them with joy and familiarity. With this sort of data-driven analysis, there is simply no excuse for not approaching the object of your affection (the target) and planting a big kiss on their cheek before stating euphorically "so great to see you again, can I buy you a drink tonight?"
Really people, must I make it this easy for you? Check out people who won't tell you they don't know you on HelloPulse
